By Sylvia Peterson, pastor and author of “Laura and Me: A Sex Offender and Victim Search Together to Understand, Forgive, and Heal”
Do you have a plan to keep your children safe from pedophiles during the winter holidays?
Children are easier for sex offenders to access from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day, according to someone who ought to know. Laura Faye McCollum is Washington state’s only female violent serial pedophile confined to the Special Commitment Center on McNeil Island.
In 2002, Laura’s chaplain asked me to provide gender-based socialization for her. I had a second reason for us to meet. I wanted to know why Grandpa Ed molested me. Laura was my chance. All I needed was for her to answer one question. “How do people become like you and Grandpa Ed?”
Finding the answer required that I listen to Laura while she gave me detailed accounts of filthy, horrible crimes. Some were so traumatizing that I couldn’t remember how to drive home. The day she told me what she had done to her own four babies, I left early, crying uncontrollable sobs of grief. Were my answers worth what I was going through to get them?
Laura felt no remorse. How was that possible?
Each of us experiences life differently. We internalize our environment in diverse ways. Our genetics are like no one else’s. Our personalities and values develop from an number of unique variables. As a therapy assignment, Laura wrote her autobiography. She mailed me a copy. Her childhood was filled with abuse and neglect. There were only two occasions when anyone touched her: when she was beaten and when she was molested. Rape was the only good touch she knew. “When he was done, he always kissed me goodnight,” she said.
Laura McCollum grew up in a psychological, nutrient-rich Petri dish for pedophilia. When abuse dominates life, survival is the only thing that matters. Laura became an extreme narcissist, focused entirely on herself. That’s why she was able to sexually abuse an untold number of children and feel no remorse. Laura couldn’t see humanity in any of her victims.
By the time she was arrested, Laura had abused children for over 30 years. Could any of it have been prevented?
“There are always signs,” she said. “Adults got to pay more attention. It’s not real hard. Look at their skin when they take a bath. Check their underwear when you do the laundry. Kids and their parents (or caregivers) need to play with toys and draw pictures together. That’s how little kids communicate stuff they can’t put into words.”
I asked Laura why children are more vulnerable during the holidays.
“Folks get busy. They leave their kids with people they don’t know as well as they think. There’s more stress and lots more drinkin’. Parents got to know who their children are with and check on ‘em. That would’a stopped a lot of my crimes.”
I asked Laura if there was anything else preventive.
“If something doesn’t feel right, keep your kids close to you. Especially during the holidays.”
